I’ve told myself that I would start writing more regularly again. And I haven’t. Usually my excuse is that I’m busy. This time, it is because I don’t know what to say.
So much has happened the last few weeks that have me busy, so I could use that as an excuse: holidays, family issues, my birthday, work, relationship(s), ex drama…
But honestly, I just have no words.
I have no words to explain how I, who rarely fully trusted anyone, could have trusted such a person. I have no words to express how shocked I am (STILL shocked, after he’s shown me what a selfish ass he really is) at my ex’s actions. I have no words to express how utterly stupid I feel for this happening, as I feel it has to be partially my fault since I allowed him in.
…stalking online; threats – to me, my friends, my family, and my relationships; lies/distortions of the truth; showing up at my job, more than once; showing up at my family’s jobs; attempts at sabotage; revenge porn; stealing my phone and posting private messages; misrepresentation; gaslighting…
I’m exhausted. I’m frustrated. I’m annoyed.
But most of all, I’m speechless.